Time for a shit post.

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But seriously...

Anywho...

Yeah, I forgot what I was gonna say here.

Ass-Random Observations from My Sickbed

So, yeah, as you can guess from the title, I'm sick. But what's really important here is the weird shit that for some reason, I'm remembering.

One of my roommates plays Starcraft roughly every waking second of his free time. He has honed his skills at playing the Terran race, and while half-listening, I have misheard some interesting dialog from these space-rednecks:

• "Odors, sir!"
• "Elijah 2, sir!"
• "S.O.B. Good to go, sir!"
• "In the butt, bi, bi, bi."
• "Go ahead, jackoff."

The theme from Jeopardy is actually a perverse, corrupted rearrangement of "I'm a Little Teapot."

The basic rhythm similarities between "La Cucaracha" and "Clementine" are disturbing.

Microsoft is probably the only company that could easily be said to have been named after its founder's penis.

Ants are fucking annoying.

I want an electric skateboard.

If you think I'm going to end this post without some reference to feces, then you don't know shit!

Where were you when the world ended?

Well, where were you?

I was right there in the middle of it, man. It was the worst Christmas ever.

I was right there in the middle of it, man. It was the best concert ever.

Wait, the world ended? I was asleep.

I was right there in the middle of it, fucking it up so that it would end the wrong way.

I was walking in the park screaming dead baby jokes at the ducks.

I was in the subway. Couldn't get out for hours until the power came back on.

I must have missed that movie.

I was safely encased in the invincible armor of my mecha.

I was right about to make it to level 60, then I fucking lagged out.

So that explains my hangover.

The end of the world? First I've heard about it. Who threw the first nuke?

WTF, mates?

It ain't the end, man. Just gotta drop in a few more quarters.

I was randomly crawling the Internet for scat porn and came across a post in somebody's blog about the end of the world.

Richard Kyanka Was Right.

For those of you perplexed by the title of this post, Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka is the founder, owner, and webmaster of comedy website Something Awful, whose motto has long been "The Internet Makes You Stupid." Well, in recent news nearish my neck of the woods, yet another monumentally stupid thing has happened to corroborate this statement.

A Navy man who got mad when someone mocked him as a "nerd" over the Internet climbed into his car and drove 1,300 miles from Virginia to Texas to teach the other guy a lesson.

As he made his way toward Texas, Fire Controlman 2nd Class Petty Officer Russell Tavares posted photos online showing the welcome signs at several states' borders, as if to prove to his Internet friends that he meant business.

When he finally arrived, Tavares burned the guy's trailer down.

This week, Tavares, 27, was sentenced to seven years in prison after pleading no contest to arson and admitting he set the blaze.

I believe the victim of this heinous act of stupidity has spoken for us all:

"I didn't think anybody was stupid enough to try to kill anybody over an Internet fight," said John Anderson, 59, who suffered from smoke inhalation while trying to put out the 2005 blaze that caused $50,000 in damage to his trailer and computer equipment.

I am more or less at a loss for words really. I plan to send the link of this story to Lowtax; he can probably make better comic use of it than I can. Needless to say, the Internet does indeed make you stupid, so, gentle reader, remember as you wander away from my blog: In your unending quest for the ultimate manifestation of your particular unspeakable deviancies, take the opinions of others with a massive grain of salt lest you run the risk yourself of... wait, what was I talking about? Oh, fuck it. You know what I mean anyway.

Eiarugh. (No, I don't know how to pronounce that either.)

Well, it's been a few weeks since it happened, but the significant other that I have alluded to in previous posts and I have parted ways. No, I don't feel like telling you about it. Even though nobody reads this. Just thought I'd get it out in the open for the random passers-by who have enough curiosity to divert their attention momentarily from their quest for scat-swapping nun porn (what else would you be looking for to consider holyshitno.blogspot.com a worthwhile link?) to read this garbage. In unrelated news, I've been rather pissed off and disillusioned about my whole direction in life lately, but you don't care. Hell, you probably don't even know me. I'm not really sure why I'm bothering with this post. Jesus Nutbusting Christ on a Fucking Toaster Oven that sounded emo. I'm not really as depressed as I sound though. Just angry and frustrated at the whole world, especially me. Eh. Fuck it. I don't care and neither do you. Go back to looking for SWAP.avi fanfic, you disgusting Internet scum-crawlers.

Title

Post content.

Me again...

And I'm bored off my ass and wasting time, so I figure, "what better way to waste time than by posting in my blog?" Dunno what to write though. That's the problem with this whole load of bullshit that we call "Web 2.0." There's all this capability to develop all sorts of content and publicize it on our own, but how many of us actually have any content worth publicizing? If YouTube is any indication, not many.

I just asked my roommate, whom we'll call "Ginger," if he had any advice on content for this blogpost. He said I should say that he's making out with a dead cat upstairs. This simply furthers my case that 98% of Web 2.0 is crap.

On the other hand, this could just be Ginger being Ginger. He often comes into the apartment late at night muttering insane, quasi-sarcastic conspiracy theories about the Jews. One of my favorite of these rants was about how the Hindu Jewish Lesbian Furries are out to steal our cattle.

Well, I'm tired of making this random shit up for now, so I'm a-gonna just call this post finished because I'm too lazy to come up with an original-sounding ending.