Ahoy-hoy!

I'm really bored right now, so I think I'll post something in my blog. Let's see here, last post was something deep and personal, so this time it should be random crap. Hmm... random crap... That's it! Crap! Why do they call it taking a shit? It's output, not input. Logically, it should be called giving a shit. Then there's so many people who say they don't give a shit. That's not just anal retentive. That's outright toxic. But at least that expression of apathy isn't as weird as "I don't give a rat's ass." I don't know about you, but I dont WANT a rat's ass. You don't give a rat's ass? Good. Keep the damn thing if you're that unwilling to part with it. Weird fetish if you ask me, but whatever floats your boat. And where's the rest of the rat? What do these hoarders of rat asses do with the rest of the poor innocent rodents that have to die for their bizarre amusement? I take that back; I don't want to know. Probably involves a fingernail clipper, a cigarette lighter, two and a half used condoms, and a webcam. Before you say anything of what you're probably starting to think, no, I don't know any of this from experience. I am making all of this up... I hope. I'm not going to try to find out. You can if you like, but be warned, the Internet is a huge metropolis with lots of unsavory back alleys. Just look at my blog. Reads like the results of a thousand retarded monkeys hammering away at a thousand typewriters that are all missing the letter e... and I don't mean the paper output.

I Haven't Posted in a While...

...and I'm kinda bored now, so I figured I'd write an update for all three to five of you out there that actually read this. First of all, some clarifications on things I may have said in the past. Yes, I know that my last post, "The Disease" is, biochemically speaking, complete and total bunk. When I wrote it, I was a dumb, sardonic high school senior. It's still kinda funny, though, so I don't fuckin' care.

Now for my update. I could talk about recent events in my life, but the two of my readers that I personally know and trust with my psychological baggage already know. The rest of you, tough shit, not that you really care anyway. I'm not trying to be bitter here, though, and recent events haven't been all bad, but... oh you know what I mean, and if you don't know, you probably don't really care all that much. (This is why I don't update very often, and when I do, it's usually some random crap. I've got to write for my nearest, dearest friends and for total strangers at the same time. Kind of a pain in the ass.)

Anyway, aside from all the weirdness, I'm happier than I've ever been before in my life. Well, perhaps it's better to say that for the first time in my life, I'm actually happy. Those of you who know me know why. As for the rest of you, I'll just tell you that I've found love. It's more complicated than you're thinking, though, and yet also more simple. We're not really anything as complicated and loaded with emotional baggage as a couple; we just love each other very much. It's absolutely wonderful, as though we've found a way to skip the huge societally mandated clusterfuck of mind games, anxiety, and angst that's been built up around love. It's true, it's pure, it's clean, it's free, it's beautiful. Of course, to the outside world, we look like a couple, and as far as my family goes, it's just easier to let them think we are than to explain the real situation. It's really kind of funny. I really feel she's The One, though.